Notes from a Minority in Medicine

The Bad and The Good 

In honor of Black History Month, I thought that now would be a good time to share a few notes on my experience as a minority in medicine. African Americans are considered highly under-represented in dentistry and the color of my skin has definitely had significant impacts on my journey to become a dentist. It's beyond difficult for me to open up about the scars of my past, but I feel passionate about sharing my story because I want to shed light on a situation that still needs improvement. But most importantly, I don't want to "become silent" about the things that matter.  

The Bad 

I love dentistry with all my heart, but there have been times when I have felt incredibly out of place. While there are people in this world that will support you endlessly, there are also others that will drag you down and make you feel less than worthy...but only if you let them. 
  As a college student, one of the "must-haves" for a competitive dental school application is dental shadowing and internships. Understandably dental schools want to see that you have experience.  I actively pursued these experiences by sending out letters of intent and resumes to local dental offices. I received many responses inviting me to intern positions. However, I became aware fairly early on that not everyone was as welcoming once they met me face to face. In one particular incidence, I had a dentist tell me that he couldn't have me in his office because his patients wouldn't want "someone that looked like me working in their mouths". He actually apologized for inviting me to his office. He told me that he never would have offered me a position if he had realized ahead of time that I was black. I was 7 the first time that I was called the "n" word, so I've encountered racism before, but it's especially difficult to cope with when you are doing everything right and trying to better yourself. 
You know, I never told anyone about that experience (until now) or about other similar situations that I encountered. I always ignored them and continued to move along the right path. Something that I didn't realize at the time is that holding all those hurtful situations inside was actually giving them power over me. With each negative experience, the wound grew a bit deeper. 

And everything came flooding to the surface when I began dental school. Within the first few of months of school, I started to feel really ostracized. People stopped talking to me. I had no idea what was going on? Finally, I found out that someone that I considered a friend was suggesting that I only got accepted into dental school because I was black. Now you have to understand that I attend school in the South (where I'm one of the only minorities) and attitudes are different here. It shouldn't be that way, but sometimes it is. It didn't matter that I graduated from college in the top 10% of my class. It didn't matter that I had thousands of hours of dental experience. And it didn't matter that I got accepted to multiple schools the first time I applied. 
I was black. 
While, I certainly can't argue that my minority status may have provided me an advantage during the application process, it was not the ONLY reason I was accepted. To have that opinion being shared about me, especially coming from a supposed friend was incredibly hurtful.  

All of those negative experiences of my past were back. I felt that no matter what I did or how much I succeeded that there will always be people who look down on me. There would always be people who would believe that the only reason that I achieved anything is because of affirmative action. This whole experience changed my interactions at school and made me incredibly guarded. I fell into a state of depression and I honestly contemplated leaving dental school. I felt that maybe I had made the wrong choice, that I should have attended one of the historically black college dental schools where for once I wouldn't have to be in the minority. I really hate that I allowed someone else's problem to affect me so deeply, but it did. It took me a really long time to learn how to rise above that. 

The Good 

I can't say that those experiences were all negative because they have shaped me into the strong person that I am today. So in a way, I am thankful. And this blog was born out of that hurt, at a time where I felt the need for renewal, revival, and re-establishment. I felt the need for making restorations. And I've now promised myself to not allow someone to hold that kind of power over me again. 

In the future, I know that people are going to be more than a little surprised when I walk into the room. My name may be Dr. Schneider, but I'm not exactly the elderly caucasian gentleman that they will be expecting to see. And there may be situations where people will not want to be my patient because of the color of my skin. But there are also going to be countless situations where the color of my skin will encourage people. I love that I have the opportunity to turn my negative experience into a positive for others. I have the opportunity to be a role model and to make a difference. And in that regard, I'm in very good company.