Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Notes from a Minority in Medicine

The Bad and The Good 
In honor of Black History Month, I thought that now would be a good time to share a few notes on my experience as a minority in medicine. African Americans are considered highly under-represented in dentistry and the color of my skin has definitely had significant impacts on my journey to become a dentist. It's beyond difficult for me to open up about the scars of my past, but I feel passionate about sharing my story because I want to shed light on a situation that still needs improvement. But most importantly, I don't want to "become silent" about the things that matter.  

The Bad 
I love dentistry with all my heart, but there have been times when I have felt incredibly out of place. While there are people in this world that will support you endlessly, there are also others that will drag you down and make you feel less than worthy...but only if you let them. 
  As a college student, one of the "must-haves" for a competitive dental school application is dental shadowing and internships. Understandably dental schools want to see that you have experience.  I actively pursued these experiences by sending out letters of intent and resumes to local dental offices. I received many responses inviting me to intern positions. However, I became aware fairly early on that not everyone was as welcoming once they met me face to face. In one particular incidence, I had a dentist tell me that he couldn't have me in his office because his patients wouldn't want "someone that looked like me working in their mouths". He actually apologized for inviting me to his office. He told me that he never would have offered me a position if he had realized ahead of time that I was black. I was 7 the first time that I was called the "n" word, so I've encountered racism before, but it's especially difficult to cope with when you are doing everything right and trying to better yourself. 
You know, I never told anyone about that experience (until now) or about other similar situations that I encountered. I always ignored them and continued to move along the right path. Something that I didn't realize at the time is that holding all those hurtful situations inside was actually giving them power over me. With each negative experience, the wound grew a bit deeper. 
And everything came flooding to the surface when I began dental school. Within the first few of months of school, I started to feel really ostracized. People stopped talking to me. I had no idea what was going on? Finally, I found out that someone that I considered a friend was suggesting that I only got accepted into dental school because I was black. Now you have to understand that I attend school in the South (where I'm one of the only minorities) and attitudes are different here. It shouldn't be that way, but sometimes it is. It didn't matter that I graduated from college in the top 10% of my class. It didn't matter that I had thousands of hours of dental experience. And it didn't matter that I got accepted to multiple schools the first time I applied. 
I was black. 
While, I certainly can't argue that my minority status may have provided me an advantage during the application process, it was not the ONLY reason I was accepted. To have that opinion being shared about me, especially coming from a supposed friend was incredibly hurtful.  
All of those negative experiences of my past were back. I felt that no matter what I did or how much I succeeded that there will always be people who look down on me. There would always be people who would believe that the only reason that I achieved anything is because of affirmative action. This whole experience changed my interactions at school and made me incredibly guarded. I fell into a state of depression and I honestly contemplated leaving dental school. I felt that maybe I had made the wrong choice, that I should have attended one of the historically black college dental schools where for once I wouldn't have to be in the minority. I really hate that I allowed someone else's problem to affect me so deeply, but it did. It took me a really long time to learn how to rise above that. 

The Good 
I can't say that those experiences were all negative because they have shaped me into the strong person that I am today. So in a way, I am thankful. And this blog was born out of that hurt, at a time where I felt the need for renewal, revival, and re-establishment. I felt the need for making restorations. And I've now promised myself to not allow someone to hold that kind of power over me again. 
In the future, I know that people are going to be more than a little surprised when I walk into the room. My name may be Dr. Schneider, but I'm not exactly the elderly caucasian gentleman that they will be expecting to see. And there may be situations where people will not want to be my patient because of the color of my skin. But there are also going to be countless situations where the color of my skin will encourage people. I love that I have the opportunity to turn my negative experience into a positive for others. I have the opportunity to be a role model and to make a difference. And in that regard, I'm in very good company. 

12 comments:

  1. This brought tears to my eyes. The fact that these prejudices are still present, lurking beneath the surface, is absolutely appalling. I'm so sorry you had to experience these situations and hurtful experiences. It's easy for me to forget that discrimination is still a very real problem, especially living in New York and going to a very diverse medical school. I think it's important to share your experiences and I'm so glad you did. It helps to bring awareness to a problem that needs to be solved once and for all.

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    1. Even I forget sometimes until something happens to bring everything back to the surface, but I do think that talking about it is important. Thanks for reading

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  2. God bless you for writing this post! This is definitely a part of our experience that few want to acknowledge still happens. While I've never had anyone be as direct as that dentist was to you, I definitely understand the looks and assumptions. I've had many people try to talk me out of medicine, say I should be a nurse. But luckily my faith and the supporters I did have helped me to look past it. It always takes a great deal of bravery to share these personal posts, I'm glad you did. Despite the ugliness that still exists luckily there are people who really do see us all as equal and don't look at color. I know this post will speak to them as well as encourage others who may experience or have experienced the same ugliness along this path.

    And my bf has a German last name so there will be quite a bit of confusion for both us as physicians since we're both African American too haha! They'll never see us coming, but let's let our work speak for itself. I know you will!

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    1. I'm glad that you had so much support and were able to ignore the naysayers

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  3. Great post. Remember acts 10:21 only God is impartial

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  4. Wow, it would be hard to even respond to that one dentist's comment about how he wouldn't have even invited you to visit his office if he had known you were black with any semblance of grace and composure! You just keep being excellent!
    I'm also sometimes mystified by the reactions to minorities in medicine. I am white and don't have a career in the medical field, but my husband is Mexican, and when he was working as an ICU nurse, the family member of a patient asked if he'd moved to Michigan to work in the onion fields. I so told him she should have responded, "You know, that's exactly why I moved to Michigan, I have no clue how I ended up in the ICU instead. Weird, huh?" He was much more professional and just said, "umm, no." instead.

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    1. Ha Rachel, I think that would have been the perfect response.

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  5. So I know this post is a few months old, but it was a suggested post after your one about Loving Day. I just have to say that it breaks my heart that stuff like this is still happening and I'm so sorry you have to deal with it. But you are so incredibly strong for rising above!

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    1. Unfortunately this kind of stuff still happens everyday, I think that the best way to dispel these situations is to talk about it

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  6. I found your blog through the budget post on Frannish. After reading your own 2015 budget post, I started reading more of your posts & really enjoying them. All that to say, then I found this post. Wow, I'm sorry for the racism you've experienced & think it's fantastic that you did not let that stop you from your goal of becoming a dentist. I live in the South too & am still saddened & disgusted by the continued racism down here. Its also sad how many people I know try to pretend it's not still happening.

    Best of luck to you in dental school & life in general. Thanks for sharing your experiences with your readers. I look forward to reading your blog in 2016!

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  7. Jasmine, this is such a powerful post! You are brave and brilliant! Our profession is lucky to have you! Study hard and continue to enjoy life! Blessings

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